How Expensive Is Your Fear?
How Expensive Is Your Fear?
4 Things to Consider When Investing In Yourself
Have you ever decided in advance exactly how bad something is going to be?
Why do we do this? Its like when you hear there is going to be a change in a currently predictable situation and you start awfulizing just how horrible its going to be! Eek!
So why do we expect the worst? It's an illusion; a prison sentence hanging over our head and at best it makes us feel irritable, powerless and stuck. Sound familiar?
Most of us are programmed from a very young age to fear the unknown. The fear of discomfort, failure, rejection, getting fired or being alone all fog up the glasses from which we view life. This fuels the "what if syndrome". This is when we project negativity all over our future experiences. What if they judge me? What if I fail and have a major financial loss? What if I have nothing to say? What if they say no and I am humiliated? You get the jist.
Can you think of something right now that you really want but just can't pull the trigger or take that leap of faith?
Again, most all of us have deeply imbeded fears of failure, rejection and shame. Without them, could you imagine how different your life and relationships would be? Would you take risks for the sake of growth, happiness and intimacy? Even the word risk is latent with fear! Its synonyms are danger, hazard and peril! Do we even have a word for positive chance taking?
Here are some things to consider the next time you find yourself looking to risk something new:
#1 We have been tricked into believing fear and anxiety are productive.
Somehow, all this anxious thinking and indulging in fear is believed to be productive. We are under the illusion that we are somehow preparing for the worst of it and gaining control by over thinking and rehearsing . Truthfully, If it's not happening now, it's not happening. It is not true and it is not real. You are not in the worst of it. Well, you probably are - as what you think and fear is likely worse than any reality. And when reality does hit and it is not what we think "must" happen... we struggle to accept. Accepting what is, is a true sign of resiliency.
It just can be so damn alluring to let fear take you for a ride.
Learning to trust yourself and let go of your anxious mind is your best defense. Instead of rehearsing or obsessing, do brief affirmations when the urge to obsess arises. For example, "I am capable of handling all things that come my way to the best of my ability, and the best of my ability is enough. I am enough. I am creative and competent, and I know that when I am calm and grounded... wisdom and inspiration will flow."
#2 Consider your self worth as a crucial investment
Can you think of a bad relationship, job or life situation that you were stuck in? You knew it was bad for you physically, spiritually, and emotionally, but you stayed in it for the tidbits of comfort you might have gotten from knowing exactly what to expect. Your inner guidance probably started off as a kind and gentle nudge until it could take no more (insert physical pain/illness). But instead of acting on this intuition or guidance, you asked fear - not faith - what to do. This is the expensive part! You lower your self esteem every time you are asked to love yourself enough to make a change, and you choose to stay stuck for the wrong reasons. This in turn trickles into other aspects of life that require ( 3rd chakra health) power, discipline, love, trust and belief in yourself.
Fear and anxiety have offspring! Fear starts to spawn thoughts, beliefs and vows about your limitations. And as long as you invest in fear you will attract relationships, people, and situations that are exactly what you don’t want.
We have to stop sabotaging our opportunities for happiness by deciding how horrible failure/rejection is going to be. Instead, start asking your inner knowing/faith for the power and courage to listen to your intuition and leap into what your heart wants.
We are powerless when we decide we are victims and can expect nothing more. It leads to depression and further anxiety.
If we plug into the fear of being alone, rejected or criticized, how can we really, freely love. Love requires such vulnerability. Instead you must plug into the belief that you are lovable, resilient and worthy. You must look within, and plug into the belief that you are potent and equipped with a power source waiting to be tapped into. In essence, "you" are that power source. Looking outside yourself for answers is only rejecting this fact. We are powerful creators and our fears rob us of the opportunity to create limitless possibilities. Make your feelings and emotions the most important information you will get all week!
#3 Stop looking outside of yourself for the answer
Look within. You hold the answer within you, in that knowing place. Some call it your inner self, intuition, inner pilot light or just simply your core self. But many of us anxiously look to everyone else to tell us we are ok. They tell us how to look, dress, act etc.
Out sourcing your personal power to others leaves you feeling indecisive, sometimes over the smallest decisions. You likely feel overly concerned about what others think. You are also more likely to have anxiety about body image, relationships/intimacy and acceptance of your self and others. Trust can also become an issue as well, as you may have issues trusting yourself.
Being disconnected from yourself can also effect your intuition. You are intuitive. Yes you; super intuitive. It’s not that you lack intuition or guidance it is that many of us are so plugged into fear and living on autopilot you may not have noticed or didn't act on it. In fact, your guidance could be hitting you over the head as you read this and you still ignore it!
Yes, some fear is grounded in reality. I am not saying you should endanger yourself or those you love. However, fear is also energy. Stay with me! Fear like everything is energy. Guess what? Like everything else that is energy, there is an exchange. When you plug your energy into fear you in return attract and receive more of what you expect. So you are pretty much guaranteed to find proof for your misery and lots of it. But the opposite is true as well. You will find proof of all the positive opportunities you believe exists.
It is well known, that how we perceive the events in our life is actually more important then the actual events themselves!
#4 Try this:
Meet Your Observer
Take a few minutes a day to practice non-judgment observing. Just taking inventory for a few days can offer a great deal of insight needed for a shift in your consciousness. You may even be quite familiar with Mindfulness Meditation. Truth is, there is no perfecting it. Reengaging in this practice always brings new information!
Start by finding a quiet place for five to ten minutes. Don't worry about the time. You will increase your ability to be with yourself with practice. Next, clear and ground by taking a few deep breaths and do a quick scan from your head to your feet. Just notice. Most importantly, notice with out judgement ( meaning- notice with pure curiosity like a science project in which you are not attached to the outcome- NO JUDGMENTS).
First: Notice. You will notice your mind wander to some thought. This is not bad or wrong. Having your mind wander is as important to this practice as letting the thought go and bringing your attention back to present moment. Some people like to visualize windshield wipers washing and breaking up the thought before it floats away.
Second: Give it a label. Not a critical judgment. A label of the emotion that is behind it. For example, you have the thought - I am totally going to bomb this interview. You label the emotion as fear ( you can take it a step further by clarifying it as fear of embarrassment or fear of not being good enough. But that is as far as it goes)
Third: Scan your body from the tip of your head down to your toes and notice where tension is festering. Take note of any sensations you may experience. For example, tight jaw, racing heart, knot in your stomach, neck- shoulder -back pain. Then, take three slow deep breaths with the intention of releasing this tension in the body. You can also follow up with an affirmation such as "I am enough. If it is in my highest good to have this job it will be clear."
Now, in this moment is where the golden ticket hides! You have just taken yourself out of your brain (on auto pilot) and into the present moment. The only place change can occur! Let go and move on. Seriously, do not reengage with the thought. Feel your feet on the ground, take a cleansing breath and stay present and grateful for your inner observer. You can thank yourself for this information. Notice your breathing and be present; right here, right now. Repeat.
Where you felt the tension in your body is important information.
Its important to notice where you experience these emotions repeatedly in the same area of your body. It is where that specific emotion and chakra energy will pool. Emotions are like water. They are meant to run through you not remain stagnant. Stagnant water festers just like emotional energy. This stagnation in energy weakens the area and all the tissue and organs that rely on it. This in turn is believed to cause illness over time.
I also usually encourage my clients to create I am statements. "I am enough. I am all the love that I seek. I am abundance; it flows to me and through me easily." I believe in "I am" statements as we attract what we are, not what we want. The more you practice this you will see it seep into your thinking. You will notice just how often you can invest your energy into creating and being all that you desire. By being present and paying attention to your body, you will be able to tangibly see where your body is holding this energy as well as the negative stuff that is potentially costing you your health. Clearing and releasing these blocks can really fuel your sense of purpose. Its time to open your heart up to the fact that you are an incredible wealth of possibility and there is no time limit! If you are alive you are an experiment in possibility!
