6 Critical Steps For Empaths: Stop Absorbing People's Pain

Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_NejroN'>NejroN / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

Copyright: <a href='https://www.123rf.com/profile_NejroN'>NejroN / 123RF Stock Photo</a>

Empaths: You can stop surviving and start thriving!

So you’ve been seeing the word Empath flooding social media lately, right?  Maybe you’ve wondered,  “Is this some new-agey trend or is this legit; a real deal phenomenon?“  Perhaps when you read about it for the first time, whistles blew and angels were singing and you just knew, this is me!  

I can tell you there is a difference between ordinary empathy and being an Empath.  Ordinary empathy is the ability to hold compassion for another person and imagine walking in their shoes during a difficult time.  Being an Empath means that you likely do not have the same filters that other people have so you are not just imagining how others feel but rather experiencing it.  Empaths  experience the emotions, physical symptoms and subtle energies of other people, animals and other earthly things. It is a blessing and well… Ill keep it positive here and say a challenge- for most of us.   Sometimes we feel other peoples emotions in a room before we even enter it and then unfortunately think… “whats wrong with me?”

If you are an EMPATH it is crucial that you stop holding other peoples emotional energy and learn to harness this gift as truly that, a gift.  You can stop getting lost in anxiety! You can stop holding the emotional and physical pain that does not belong to you (which we know- long term, makes us sick) You can start feeling powerful and use the gift of intuition to guide you and create amazing things in your life.  But first you must create boundaries and hold your own energy as separate and enough.


1.  First And Foremost: Decide The Shape Of Your Boundaries. 

Draw a circle around you.  This is your magical hula hoop. Everything inside is yours; your emotions, experiences, perceptions and good/bad behavior to love or take responsibility for ( we will get to that).  Outside it, everyone else is bumping into you with their circle of stuff.  Empaths typically leap over their magical hula hoops to join with others.  Many times we are just so damn uncomfortable with other peoples’ discomfort that we feel we must make them okay to feel okay ourselves.  If we had empathic parents with poor boundaries (strong likelihood here) we learned to seek outside ourselves for approval and did not really take a strong stance on the word NO!  If this was the case, its also possible that you feel very responsible for other peoples emotional wellbeing.  Even when it has nothing to do with you!

Action Step: Be Mindful And Compassionate

Notice through out the day when you feel the urge (might feel like anxiety) to step outside of your own circle.  Notice where you feel that urge in your body.  Ask yourself what is this about for me?   What is happening outside of my circle that’s triggering me inside?  Does that really have anything to do with me?  Is this an old wound that’s draining my energy? For example, "Does this have to do with the old belief that Im not... smart, fit, loving or good enough? Or perhaps, "Is this that old false belief that my worth is predicated upon making other people happy.  Do I feel like I need to prove something here?"  Take a deep clearing breath and release all that does not belong to you in this situation. Hands on heart, hold compassion for that old part of yourself that is loosing ground. Sense the old belief that is tripping you up still now.  Forgive yourself for believing that being vigilant and holding on to old negative beliefs is actually helpful.  When you get centered, your powerful intuitive spidey senses kick in and you see the totality of what is occurring in front of you vs. becoming it or reacting to it!


2. Clear Yourself Daily!

The most powerful thing you can do is tap into your intuitive self  (your true power source) while and release all that does not belong to you. 

You can do this brief meditation when you start your day in the shower or in your car before walking into work.  You can end your day with this or do all of the above.  I highly recommend that you do it daily! It is  extremely beneficial for Empaths to consciously and habitually release energy that is not their own.

Action Step:  The Squeegee Clearing Meditation

 I created this meditation one day when I could hardly keep my head up.  I was suddenly so fatigued I thought I must be getting sick.  I did this meditation as soon as it came to me.  I immediately felt all the fatique and fog just melt away.  It was seriously like I  just woke up! None of what I was feeling was actually mine. 

Begin by grounding.  Take a deep clearing breath, relax your face, jaw, shoulders, back legs and feet.  Plant your feet in the ground  (do not cross your legs)

  • Sit straight up and take a few deep breaths.  
  • Begin to visualize the top of you head opening up and warm white light pouring in.
  • Imagine a squeegee or beam of light at the top of your head. The warm light is moving the squeegee from the top of your head pushing and clearing out all the negative sludge that DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU as it moves down to your feet.
  • Say to yourself or out loud I release all that does not belong to me" As the squeegee moves down your body it may stop in the areas that are most congested and blocked.  If it gets stuck,  just take another deep breath until it has moved all the way down to your feet pushing every thing into the ground.
  • Next Imagine the squeegee at the top of your head again -now clearing out ALL OF THE THINGS THAT NO LONGER SERVE YOU!  Again, moving all the way down your body to your feet and into the ground. Again, say to yourself  “ I release all that no longer serves me.”   Breathing through any areas as it slows down or stops at different blocks in the body until it flows freely through  your feet and releases everything into the ground.
  • Last  visualize the white light filling your whole body from your head, arms, chest, back, stomach to feet. Imagine its healing energy filling up every cell in your body and extending to your aura.  

As an empath is it is so beneficial for you to sooth and heal the outer layers of your bio energy field, known as your Aura.  

This will surround your body with extra protection from outside negativity! Sit and notice how this feels to be cleared and filled with all that you need!  Sit a minute and be with yourself while holding gratitude!


3. Nature Is Your Natural Detoxifier.                                                            

Empaths sense and experience subtle energies.  Going for a walk in the woods or strolling the beach will nourish and purify your system and renew your energy.  Nature’s vibrational energy is soothing and cathartic.  Try to find a spot with out too many people. The more grand and wild the better but a simple stroll to the back yard or a hike in the woods near by will do! 


4.  Now That You Are Clear, Shield Yourself

We all have the super power of visualization.  You see the mind responds to what we create whether real or imagined.  That is why you can be in a tailspin of anxiety over something you've created in your head.  But it can also be used for amazing good.  Remember, where you place your attention is where you ignite your energy. Where you ignite your energy is where you create reality.  

Action Step: Build the Shield

Every day (either after you have done the clearing meditation or any other time of day) take 5 minutes to heal, reinforce and calm your outer energy system, aka your Aura or energy field. This field is made up of layer which store your physical, emotional and spiritual energy.  The very outer layer is a thin veil that protects you from all other energies.  This is so very important for empaths! 

  • Begin by taking deep breaths to relax the body and signal your intuitive self to connect.  
  • Begin filling with warm white light visualizing its healing powers at all levels. Let it fill your heart with love and light and imagine  filling all the cells in you body.
  • Next fill the aura or the space that surrounds your body.  Allow it to heal old emotions and stagnant energies that no longer serve you. 
  •  Visualize the hardening of the very outer layer of your feild. You can imagine it hardening like glass or any other material that comes to you.
  • Last, set the intention.  Set the intention that only your own energy and emotions that serve your highest good will pass through.  All other negativity or that which does not belong to you will remain outside the shield. 


5. Take Responsibility  

Love who you are instead of worshiping who you are not.

This is life long work.  Tapping in to higher consciousness  will not happen overnight. So hold compassion for yourself as you engage in stretching and changing and taking back the power you have been giving away for years! It is empowering to own your stuff. When you practice self love and acceptance the shame you have attached to being imperfect just starts to dissolve.  In its place, is a more solid knowing. A knowing that you are ok, that it is ok to make mistakes or say and do the wrong thing.

 It is equally empowering to make decisions based on your health and well being. You always have a choice to give the answer "NO".  You have the choice between joining in gossip or keeping your vibration high and healthy. You have the ultimate power to watch a violent movie or turn on the news when you know it will rob you of your sense of wellbeing. You have the final say on whether you will continue with a relationship that only takes from you and leaves you depleted.  Choose wisely.


6.  Don't Buy Into An Image Of Fragility

There is no cookie cut-out Empath.  We share a lot of traits regarding sensitivity but we come in all different packages with different strengths.  Some are the front line type, here to take on adversity while others are in the back row holding quiet healing space for everybody else.  Hear this, we are all strong.  We are all here to do a job. We are all here to create change and shift the direction of this world. So be careful when you overindulge in "avoiding all things big energy" like malls and parties.  How can we save the world if we believe we can not enter the mall with out being pummeled into a sponge absorbing all that is wrong with the universe? So while its up to you to make choices that serve you best, learn to hold your energy and exercise your empathic boundaries to grow them strong. You have this gift for a very good reason and you are desperately needed.